Dating Advice for Men: Is Sex on the Menu?

After all the time spent selecting, narrowing down, and searching for a possible partner, who wants to loose a potential match? No one.  When it comes to sex and dating, there can be a fine line to what sinks and floats a relationship. Following traditional dating advice, we all know women are going to try to make us wait before they jump into bed. With the anxiety and stress of a new relationship, it’s understandable why having sex too soon is an all too common mistake. Maybe it’s the first date, maybe it’s the third, either way, sex too early can be the kiss of death and destroy any potential future. Here’s a few tips to make sure the special girl you like doesn’t “high tail it” when you put the moves on.

Sex and Dating Advice tip #1

Meet their needs

As men we’re not taught to worry about when we have sex with a new partner (unless it’s taking too long.) We’re just taught to go for it.  After all, dating advice columns dedicated to helping men decide when the right time to have sex with a woman are far and few between. However, men and women are more alike than we think. Sex and relationship experts believe both sexes essentially desire the same things from their relationships: reaffirmation and emotional connectedness.  However, sex is more often used by men as the currency to “buy” these things in a relationship, where as women prefer talking about their feelings, and caretaking, outside of the bedroom. While the sexes do have different means to the same end, the important lesson here is to understand where and how women feel their needs are met, and then putting it all into action. A relationship is much more likely to survive the awkward “first sex-experience” if both parties feel their needs are being attended to. 

Sex and Dating Advice tip #2

Confidence, confidence, confidence

Women don’t want a man who seems like the only attention they’ve received in the past month is from them. They want a man who plays it cool and who could honestly take their affections or be perfectly fine without them. If you pretend you’re not in the middle of the biggest sex drought of your life, you’re much more likely to spike her interest and remain a “prize” in her eyes. Remind yourself of all your positive attributes while preparing for your date and be yourself. Nothing shines more than a man who is proud of who he is.

Sex and Dating Advice tip #3

Limit alcohol on dates

One of two things happens when you are dating someone new. You realize the new object of your desire fits into the “good time only” or the “worthwhile” woman category. Obviously, at the end of the day, if you’re looking for a long-term relationship you want a “worthwhile” woman to come home to. However, it’s not always easy to distinguish the two if you are tipsy or inebriated. Alcohol often leads to more sexual pressure than would have been present if both parties where sober. Let things progress naturally and let her show you who she is without alcohol influencing her one way or the other. While one-night stands might be fun and boost your ego, you’re no closer to finding a quality partner in the morning if you were both drunk and acting out of character. Plus she’s less likely to regret her action and YOU in the morning if she was of sound mind. Stick to a two drink limit.

Sex and Dating Advice tip #4

Know women fake it

If you do happen to make it to the bedroom, know a lot of women feel pressure to live up to an ideal. Even when you’re performance is sub-par, they want to satisfy their man and boost his ego. But who really wants their woman faking a riveting performance in the bedroom if it’s not earned? Wouldn’t you rather know the truth about what is happening physically between you tow?  Pushing the standard “what it should look like” onto your new relationship is never a good idea and can be devastating in the long run. Take the time to earnestly learn what she does and does not enjoy. Listen to her feedback and don’t pressure her for an award winning performance. Good sex takes time.  Remember, if you’re going to be in a long-term relationship, it’s okay, your sex life deserves all the time in the world.